The five words you’re using that are sabotaging your dating life

The five words you’re using that are sabotaging your dating life
  • PublishedApril 6, 2024

‘Eliminate them and watch the difference in how he responds to you.’

Looking for love? There’s a phrase you’re likely using that’s silently sabotaging your love life.

Perth-based dating expert and matchmaker Louanne Ward has revealed the five words you should never use when dating.

In a video on her Instagram page, Ward said you should never say “I don’t need a man” as these words will instantly, and almost always, block your chances at finding love.

“Ladies, when you say those five words to a man, that’s the moment he checks out,” she said.

“Every human being needs to feel needed.

“If you’ve just got a man as an accessory and he is an optional extra and he doesn’t have a place in your life then there is no void he can fill.

“Why would he bother trying?”

Ward says when it comes to dating, “it is all about giving and taking”.

Men want to know what they can “give” to a woman, and they want to know they are going to add value to your life, Ward said.

“So, eliminate those five words from your vocabulary and watch the difference in how he responds to you,” she concluded.

Ward frequently shares dating tips and tricks to her more than 23,000 Instagram followers.

Meanwhile, another woman recently shared how the so-called “bird test” theory could determine whether your relationship would last.

In a viral video, American woman Alyssa explained that the test is used to measure how a friend, partner or family member reacts to an insignificant conversation, otherwise known as a “bid for connection”.

The concept of a “bid for connection” has been studied by American doctor John Gottman, who looked at how couples “turn towards” each other “instead of away” when a partner tried to make a positive connection.

Alyssa says the ‘bird test’ theory can determine if your relationship is solid.

Alyssa said the “bird test” is a useful and fascinating device to test a bid for connection.

“I live and die by the bird test because it never fails,” she said.

“If you don’t know what the bird test is, it’s like a test to gauge whether or not a relationship will be successful.

“Usually it’s in the context of a romantic relationship but I always do this with friends, family members, literally anyone that I meet.”

Alyssa relayed the story of a new friend she had made, to illustrate how the bird test works.

“I meet this girl, we start becoming … friends, and we go to Starbucks. One day, we’re sitting at this table… and I’m looking out the window and I see a woodpecker in a tree,” she said.

“I’m like, ‘Holy s***, there’s a woodpecker in that tree.’ This girl whips around so fast, she’s like, ‘Where?’ I kid you not.

“For the next 10 minutes, the two of us stared out the Starbucks window just watching this woodpecker f***ing peck away at this tree while we Googled random facts about woodpeckers.”

She said how the other person reacts to your bird test can make or break a relationship.

“If you’re with someone … romantic or not, if you say something that could be deemed insignificant, and your partner responds with genuine curiosity, like, ‘What woodpecker? Where?’ that’s a really good sign that your relationship will last a long time,” she said.

“But if they blow you off, they don’t acknowledge you, and they’re just like, ‘Oh cool… a woodpecker.’ That’s a really bad sign.”


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